Pre-rant disclaimer #1: Between school and career I am certainly over-saturated with branding and marketing philosophy.
Pre-rant disclaimer #2: I have a strongly negative stance on bottled water.
Nonetheless: a spot for Voss Water came on today that made me ashamed to call myself a copywriter. For context, this was the sponsor sound bite for The Moth podcast (The Moth is a weekly podcast that features true stories told live at their shows in New York and across the country, it’s awesome). The first plug wasn’t so bad:
Like Moth storytellers, Voss is more than meets the eye. It’s natural artesian water from Norway, bottle at the source, and is committed to the pursuit of operating with a zero carbon footprint. Through the Voss Foundation, Voss is committed to delivering clean water to sub-Saharan Africa. Voss. Look deeper. Join in the conversation at facebook.com/vossworld.
The sentence structure here was kind of annoying because the artisan water itself can’t really be committed to carbon neutrality and also, I really don’t want my water to be more than meets the eye. I want it to be just… water. And the parallel to Moth storytellers is a stretch, but fine. Ok. Carbon neutral, water in Africa, sponsoring a good podcast. Great.
What really rubbed me the wrong way was the end-of-podcast sponsor spot:
Voss is the perfect pairing for your special dining moments. A night worth talking about *always* starts with Voss on the table, because with Voss comes great conversation and with great conversation comes a story worth sharing. Look deeper into the art of conversation at facebook.com/vossworld
Good marketing is supposed to evoke the emotions that people associate with your product, true. Social media is about starting conversations, also true. Creating a story around your brand is important for both of these components, yes. But it’s like Voss took those facts at surface level and made it a campaign. Guys, you have to dig a littler bit deeper.
And it’s horrible copy writing. Don’t tell me my significant nights always start with fancy bottled water, you don’t know me. Finally, don’t juxtapose this junk with the fantastic storytelling of The Moth.
Sorry Voss, nobody’s perfect, but I think you’re doing it wrong.